Mark is Amazing!

Here's an e-mail I sent to myself while I was sitting in a waiting room, waiting for Mark to get done with an appointment.  It was the only way I could think of to write it down, since I don't have a data plan...

p.s.  This is my 500th post!  Wow!!

Thursday Oct 24th:

I have an amazing husband. Recently it's been easy to forget that. As we have fought through all the ups and downs of a brain tumor, it's been easier to see where the surgery and brain trauma have left him with deficiencies. Today I was reminded of the husband I married (which, I confess, I have not seen as much of as I would like in recent months).

In recent weeks we have noticed that Mark needs more help than I can give him - his ability has surpassed my capability to help him progress, but he is still lacking and needing improvement. We were racking our brains trying to figure out where we could go to get him the help he needs and all we could up with was trying therapy to help him get his thought processes working normally again.

We were sitting in an office waiting for Mark to get checked in for a mental health appointment at a clinic in the area we can actually afford (aka: free).  All around us are people who struggle; mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, etc. They struggle.

I was sitting in the lobby lamenting how we ended up reduced to needing to come here with the 'crazy' people, when Mark leans over and reminds me why I married him.

"Just think, in a year or two I can be working in a place like this, helping people like them."

I was certain he was teasing me, but he was utterly serious. He was actually excited about the idea.

I realized how utterly shallow I was being and began to see the others in the lobby the same way Mark saw them - as regular people who need help and love just like everyone else. I also pictured Mark, knowing how he sometimes looks to other people, and I had this vision of Mark's personality and thoughts trapped in a body like theirs (or his, for that matter), and all of a sudden all of the people around me changed from being 'crazy' into being normal, amazing people who were simply having a hard time.  It was an awesome transformation.

While there is much about our current life to hate with a passion (hello, brain tumor), and there are moments that are utterly devastating as I get a glimpse of the difference between what our life used to be like and what it is now (those moments don't happen too often), and a whole ton that's hard, and more drama than anyone should have to put up with, there are moments that are so awesome they make the rest of it totally worth it.

Those moments are worth holding on to.