Updating!

Update on my updating.  I'm done.  I hit publish on most of the ones with pictures and tried to make minimal sense of the ones that needed it.  It's not pretty, but it's done.  I have about a year to catch up on, but I'm not going to worry about that for now.  For now, I'm just going to try to do current stuff and maybe someday I'll go back and finish up the past...

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So, I've been updating, in case you haven't noticed - which if you've checked at all, you probably have noticed, and if you haven't checked, then you're probably not reading this.

I've been trying to go mostly in order, but occasionally, I just want to knock a few out to make my numbers smaller.  I currently have about 20 drafts with the pictures uploaded, or the stories highlighted and I just need to go in and finish writing and hit publish.  I confess, I'm a bit tired at the moment though, and it takes a bit out of me to think about how many I have left to do...

Just so you know - so you don't constantly have to check too far back, in case you care - my oldest draft is for 12/10/11, so everything older than that is already done.  There is still 1 in Oct, more stories than pictures - which I find harder to want to start (which is weird, since I always seem to say much more than I mean too...  This post is a case in point of that).  I'll try to get them done mostly by age order, but I promise nothing - but I will try to keep this post updated when I knock out a month or two, just so I can have a goal to work towards!  :)

Frosty the Snowman - by Aunt JB

Aunt JB bought a recordable book for the kids for Christmas and recorded herself reading the book to them.  It's actually really cool.  It can tell what page you're on and will play the recording for that page.  Somehow the book managed to get overlooked in the frenzy of Christmas, but the kids have found it this past week, and Julibeth's voice has been heard many a time reading to them.  Sometimes I even get to hear the whole book in order!  Other times I just hear a page here or there or the kids will skip a page or two, or re-read a page...  I even heard Jason finish her sentence for her - and he was in the other room.  I love this idea!  The kids have loved it!  Thanks Aunt JB!!

I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's an article I found via Facebook that I loved.  It was published in the Huffington Post.

Don't Carpe Diem

Posted: 1/14/12 11:57 AM ET

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy everysecond, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."
Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is sobeautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

-Glennon Melton

So, the whole 'Kairos' thing threw me off, but if I substitute a different word, I really like the concept, and realize that this is how I go through life with kids.  I don't enjoy every moment, but I enjoy enough that I love having done it (or doing it).  I have a time or two (or maybe more) felt guilty for not enjoying every minute, and I love the perspective that this article gives me.  I've heard this concept repeated a few times in relation to several things: I love being grown up, but I didn't like growing up (usually referring to 'learning' experiences).  I don't like cleaning, but I love having a clean house.  


Mostly, I just am glad that I don't have to feel guilty when life is hard and I want to throw the kids off the mountain (at least I'm pretty sure that's what she meant  :) ), and it's also nice to know that I'm not alone in thinking that it's hard, very hard, but also so very worth it.

Annie

Cookies!

Today we made cookies!

I recently bought some alphabet cookie cutters and had to give them a test run.

The kids loved each having their own cookies that spelled their name.

Walks in the mall

We've been walking in the mall in the mornings, just to get some movement in our day.  I love watching Emily run!

She has such a funny booty shake!

Annie can sit up!

She still can't crawl, but she can get from scooting to sitting.  It was rather fun to watch!

Annie's 2nd Tooth!

Annie got a new tooth today!  It's the one on the bottom left.  Just thought you might want to know...

A Letter For Me?!

Jason is awesome! A little bit ago he had me write a note on a piece of paper (his handwriting is almost non-existent, since he's only 4). It said 'I love you Mommy. To Mommy. From Jason.' Then he put it in an envelope, asked me to adress the envelope ('To Mommy From Jason'). Then he ran out to the mail box, put it in the mail box and put the flag up. Then a little bit later (he waited at least 5 minutes) he told me I needed to go get the mail. When I didn't leave immediately he volunteered to go for me, put on his shoes and jacket and ran out to go get my mail for me. I got to open a surprise letter (that I wrote and addressed)! It's the thought that counts right? :)

Phone Down!

A week or so ago Jason was asking me if I could use my phone since the one had been playing with was 'poopy.' (to clarify, neither one is a 'phone', but that's what the kids call them - they are both an iPod Touch) Jason's favorite catch-all phrase is 'poopy', so I just assumed it wasn't working right or out of batteries or something. Turns out it was one of the rare times he was being literal. He had dropped it in the toilet. If I had known then what I know now, I would have just thrown it away and not tried to wash it off. Turns out, it's still toast - even with soap and water and rinsing and drying for a week. Yea. Toilet 1; Me 0 (or, more accurately, -1 since I had to touch it!!)

Thankfully he had done the worst part and pulled it out of the toilet for me. I found it on the floor on a few pieces of paper - but unfortunately it was not hard to tell where it had been...

Jason's Hand...

I'm not quite sure why Jason wanted me to take a picture of his hand, but I was a good mother (yes, it happens occasionally) and obliged.  And now I'm sharing it with you.  Enjoy!

Cooking

I was cooking in the kitchen (strange place for that, I know) and the kids wanted to join in on the 'fun.'

Here's Shelly & Jason all dressed up in the aprons.  

She's intent on finding that illusive recipe 

(even though you can see the dough already made in the Bosch)

I think she just caught on...

Annie Moves!

Video of Annie crawling...


Apparently it disappeared...   Sorry!

New table

Mark made us a new table, and it looks great! It's about twice the size of our old one (this way we might actually be able fit around the table and have guests over at the same time!) It was an adventure getting it to fit in our cute little house, but we actually ended up opening up our living room more than it used to be. Thanks honey! You're awesome!

Here's the table before we moved the bookcases (the old table was against the wall on the right of the photo - the new table will not fit there)

Shot of just the table!  I'm so excited!

Mark giving us perspective on how big it is.

And, our newly arranged room (living room/dining room/play room/all purpose only-room-in-the-house-that's-not-a-bedroom-or-bathroom room)

I like it!

Bathtub

The kids love bubble baths at Grandma's house!  That's about 10 times more bubbles than I give them at our house (on the rare occasion I even let them have bubbles)

Annie's First Tooth!

Annie got her first tooth today!  It's her bottom right tooth.  It helps explain all the drooling that's been going on around here lately, and all the screaming and the hard-to-comfort-baby we've been dealing with.  Well, one down, lots more to go.  At least we get to move onto solid food soon!

Sleepover with Grandma!

On New Years Eve!  

They took full advantage and had way too much fun!

Grandma made everyone their own huge snowman sugar cookie to decorate

Seems Emily was not amused.

(I think she was just upset about being caught trying to steal the silverware...)

Shelly showing off her snowman

I think this one is Jason's

Shelly's snowman is now missing a head - probably didn't take too long

Emily should be a professional... 

(or not)

I think this was Annie's.  Her's looks rather plain...

Getting ready for bed

Yea, they'll be asleep in no time!