A Birthday I Probably Won't Forget!

I had a fun birthday! I got lots of gifts I wasn't expecting - like spending the whole day with Mark in the hospital (at least we were together!) And well wishes and visits from people I know and love, but don't always see.

Yesterday afternoon - after ordering a windshield for our van so it can pass inspection and get registered before the end of the month - yeah, tomorrow - and making an appointment for that afternoon for them to install it - and after my 16 week OB checkup (everything was fine there)...  After all that:

I woke up from a nap and was about to head out to get the windshield installed (never did do that) and asked Mark what he had been up too.  He told me he didn't know (how does he not know?! I was a bit put out - it's ok to not tell me, but this was a cheap out in my opinion). I was going to drop it, but I was a bit bugged at being blown off so easily, so I pushed a bit more. 'Were you standing, sitting, lying down, inside, outside, awake, asleep?' He still came back with 'I don't know.' I wish I could say that at this point I was concerned, but it wasn't until I noticed Mark was talking weird that I started really paying attention to him and how he was doing. He speech sounded kind of like his tongue was swollen. Upon further questioning he couldn't remember much of anything recent - what he had done that day, who had stayed with us that weekend, what day/year it was. I wondered if he had hit his head and checked his pupils for dilation issues - no indication there of anything obvious. I kept questioning him.  I was a bit hesitant because I was sure I was over-reacting.  I asked him the same questions over and over.  He had to look at his watch to tell me the day.  I asked him the year, and he'd check his watch - he never did answer that one for me though - not until much later.  It took him a full 2 minutes to come up with our kids' names, and when I pointed at Annie (the baby - for now) and asked him who she was, he just stared at her with a blank look. Doug was just finishing up moving from his temporary/weekend home in our basement to his new apartment and came back in the house for something.  I asked him if he knew what had happened to Mark, hoping he knew of a head injury or something.  He pointed to the couch - I knew where he was...  Doug came in and talked to Mark for a bit and agreed with me that he was not normal.  One of the friends who helped him move was the daughter of a nurse, so we called her mother and got her opinion - straight to the ER.  Doug was on his way out - the car had even started driving away - but he volunteered to watch the kids for me.  He was my hero of the afternoon! (truly!)  I then had freedom to give full attention to Mark and know that I didn't need to worry about the kids too.

Once in the car - not even to the elementary school - Mark opened the car door and threw up.  He kept hold of a bucket I scrounged up the rest of the way.  On the way to the ER I called Mark's parents.  They live close and I figured they could come be there with me and not be too emotional (so that I could be emotional).  Turns out they were in south eastern Utah for a funeral.  I decided I should focus on driving and left the rest of phone call making until I was in the ER with Mark.  That, and my phone was almost dead and I was pretty sure I was going to want that to be useful later (Mark's phone was also almost dead - how does it always seem to work out that way?).  And I was bit distracted by Mark himself - I had asked him how he was doing and he said he didn't feel good.  He asked where we were going and I told him 'the hospital'.  He said 'oh, I don't feel good.  Where are we going?'  I decided it wasn't worth it to me to have to answer that question more than the 4 times I already had, so I stopped asking how he was doing and he was so confused and not feeling well that he didn't ask again until we got out of the car to head into the ER.

The ER took him straight back - no official check in, no waiting - and gave him his own huge room, which quickly filled up with staff. They did all kinds of tests to check for a stroke - EKG, CT, Angiogram, and Chest X-ray, I think - I might not have been made aware of all the tests, or if I was made aware, I might have been distracted.

Julibeth showed up at some point in all of that (she actually called while I was walking into the hospital from the parking lot with Mark).  It was good to have someone else there!  And she brought a phone charger!  She made all kinds of calls for me while we were there.  We even called Mark's internship to let them know he wouldn't make it (it was an adventure trying to figure out how to call them - Mark had no memory of how to make that call, so we guessed based on the numbers in his phone).  We couldn't get a live person so I left a message (apparently I called myself Mark's husband - yeah, a bit flustered was I).  JB also arranged for someone from our old ward, who Mark had gown up knowing, to come give him a blessing.  My mom volunteered to hop on a plane right that minute.  I still didn't know what I was dealing with, so it seemed silly to me to have her hop on a plane just to find out it was no big deal.  I told her to wait until I knew more about what was going on.

Mark's memory was still not ok.  He could tell the doctor where he was (he had to look around first), but when he was asked all kinds of questions about day/month/year/president, he came up blank.  He did get the president right a few minutes later...  After they had run most of the tests they left us alone for a bit and we got to talk to him (in between many various and sundry calls).  I kept asking him what month it was and he guessed June.  For the year: 2012.  We lived on Geneva, and no memory of where our kids go to school (he was good with the kids names by then, so I moved onto harder/more recent questions).  He later guessed summer of 2012 - again.  I gave up most of the last year as lost to him for the time being.  He also realized he had missed a few months and since we were joking about how long it took Mr. Political to remember the President, he asked to be updated (at least in the political sphere).  We told him Obama had been re-elected (he was surprised, as if he didn't know that), and then we mentioned the bombings in Boston.  He then pretty quickly spit out the last names of the suspects.  I wasn't sure how to take that.  Our kids he struggles with, but an unpronounceable last name of some random people in the news recently - that he remembers...  :)  Have no fear, I duly gave him a hard time about that (he didn't quite get why he was being given a hard time - seeing as how he didn't remember forgetting, but he laughed along with it anyway).

The doctor came back with the test results: "It's not a brain bleed, but there is a growth and he needs it checked out before he can leave." The growth is fairly large, without any kind of decent explanation from anyone official, the ER doc made a circle with his hand about the size of the long way around a cutie orange (or maybe as big as a small apple - I confess, I might not have been paying as much attention to that as I could have been - I was a bit out of it - I do know that his index finger and thumb did not meet, by more than an inch, but that's all I remember from that encounter). He did say that the CT made it look like it wasn't the aggressive type of growth (I'm keeping in mind that this could change with further testing, but I'm taking that good news for now! :) ).  He did say it was growing at ... some unknown rate ... so it would likely need to come out or need some kind of treatment.  They gave him some morphine for his headache and some zophran for his nausea.

The nurse offered me a box of tissues and said it was totally understandable that I should need them.  I didn't get why.  I think I was in shock.  I still didn't really get what I was dealing with.  (I still don't actually - I'm very grateful for that.  I'm slowly realizing it's a big deal and will take a lot longer than an afternoon and a few pills to fix - if it even can be... but I am incredibly grateful that the realization is coming slowly and not all at once.  I can handle slow.  I've made a conscious effort to not think about things until I know what I need to think about - it's only mostly working).  My mom called asking for an update, I was still in shock/denial/uncertainty/something and told her I still didn't know what we were dealing with or if it would be good for her to be here or not...  She finally just told me she was coming.  I might still be debating otherwise.  I'm telling ya, the realization is coming slowly...  Doug also told me he was willing to stay with the kids until Mom got here to help - it's awesome to actually see how blessed I actually am.

They then prepared us to transfer to Utah Valley (the nurse-mom from the phone, I don't know her name, had recommended Timp for our insurance, but apparently Utah Valley is better able to deal with what Mark has).  They gave me a CD with what I assume are pictures of the scans he had - I'll look into that more later.  Mark got to ride in an ambulance - not sure if he remembers any of it though. :)  So we were in two ERs in one afternoon!  Good times!  They gave him more zophran for nausea and some steroids for the brain growth.  While at Utah Valley he started to remember more.  He eventually came to realize it was my birthday all on his own.  I considered that a very good sign.  He remembered the day (Monday), why the weekend was significant (Nate graduated and we had a half dozen house guests), all kinds of stuff!  He also started asking what had happened.  Apparently he still has no memory of how/why he we thought it necessary to bring him here.  He remembers being here, and what's happened since ('I have a thing growing in my head'), but not the part where he was out of it.  I've actually had to tell him the story more than once.

Mark's Aunt Emily came to be there with us.  That was good.  She works at the hospital and is well aware of how things work and who the doctors are.  She was a great asset (and her son's school had been evacuated that morning from a bomb threat - she had an adventurous day even without being with us!).  She stayed with us until Mark's parents were able to make it back from the funeral that had taken them out of town.  At some point our bishop showed up in the ER.  It was rather confusing, seeing as how I hadn't had time or even remembered to tell anyone in the ward what was going on.  Turns out the family that JB had asked to give Mark a blessing was old college roommates and still good friends with a lady in our ward (the primary secretary) - who happens to be next door neighbors with my visiting teacher - who she happened to tell about it - and who had visited us just the night before.  I got a phone call pretty quick (minutes after finding out about the growth), but also quickly forgot about it until the bishop showed up.  I'm guessing that's how word got back to him.  Not long after the bishop left, Mark got a phone call from the Elder's Quorum President (Mark had been unable to handle phone calls earlier so I had taken his phone from him in case someone called).  They had chatted at church on Sunday and he wanted to let me know he was praying for us, and asked me to keep him updated and let him know if we needed anything.

We later talked to a neurosurgeon - after he finally got out of surgery (really, it didn't seem that long, but the clock kept saying it was later than I thought it was - all afternoon/evening - pretty sure from 2:00 to 9:00 was only an hour or two in my head). All he was really able to tell us without an MRI was that on the small-medium-large scale, it's definitely larger. And it's on the right side of his brain and seems to be growing in the center of his brain and working it's way upward. He ordered an MRI and admitted us to the hospital.  Mark got moved upstairs (Aunt Nila was here by then) and settled into his new room.  His parents showed up little bit later, along with Nate, Uncle Tony and Aunt Becky.  Everyone stayed for a bit and we realized it was late, so all of the aunts and uncles went home.  Nate, JB and Mark's parents stayed.  Nate was awesome and offered to bring us some stuff from home.  Yup, I'm surrounded by life savers who don't even know it.

We had thought the MRI was not going to happen until the morning, but they called in a tech and had it done just after 10:00 so the Doc could have the results when he came in.  Mark's parents and Nate all stayed until Mark got back (JB had to go get Ethan and put him in bed).  Mark has been sleeping since he got back (except when they wake him up to check on him).  I have been sitting in this uncomfortable chair, with a sore throat, and, surprisingly, a thing or two on my mind, trying to sleep.  It hasn't really worked.  I think I got a combined hour, maybe two!  :)

The doc should be here sometime soon (it's 6:45 now) and we'll know more then.  I'm still hoping Mark will come home today and come back for a day or so of treatment sometime later and then all will be well and back to normal! (hey, a girl can dream, right?)